Rachel and John Fuda have stormed out of their meeting with Teresa Giudice and Luis Ruelas. “He’s making a big, big, big, big mistake. He’s f*cking with the wrong Teresa Guidice” she says.
As they walk out, Rachel makes John leave the bottle of liquor Teresa asked him to give to her brother. “He’s not going to want that,” John mutters.
Teresa and Luis make fun of John’s gangster persona. Luis, who didn’t utter a word during the entire meeting suddenly has a lot to say. “This guy’s like a Tony Soprano wannabe.”
Meanwhile, Dolores Catania has lunch with her mom Valerie Spagnola, and daughter Gabrielle Catania.
Dolores talks about meeting her ex Frank Catania’s girlfriend, whom he is going to propose to very soon. Gabrielle gives her mom a pointed look. “Paul still has to get divorced,” Dolores says.
Valerie tells her daughter that it’s time Paul Connell signs the divorce papers after being separated for over a decade. To get them off her back, Dolores says that Paul wants to go into business with her, which is almost like putting a ring on it. Not.
“You still have a right to know your future,” Valerie says. Listen to your mom, Dolores.
Melissa and Joe Gorga throw their housewarming party
Melissa Gorga has prepared her house for her and Joe Gorga’s housewarming party with an Italy theme. He’s already raring to have shots and she tells him, “Not tonight,” but he doesn’t listen.
He has Melissa’s assistant Lindsay put together an alcohol shot gun and she gives him a blast in the mouth. They spill tequila all over the floor and Lindsay is about to get fired. Mommy is mad and grabs the gun away from her toddler.
Everyone arrives and what greets them is a statue of a naked man with a picture of Joe’s head taped on top and lemons covering his salami.
Danielle Cabral has a low-key shady moment when she tells the cameras, “You know, I was expecting like, this big grandiose house where like, you have to, ‘Hello!’ But it’s 10 steps from the kitchen to their family room. I love that!”
The Fudas come in and the first thing that Rachel does is fill Melissa in on her meeting with Teresa and Luis. Melissa is glad Rachel made John discard the housewarming gift.
“Thank god Rachel did not bring that bottle to my house. I don’t want anything to do with anything they want to gift me,” she tells the cameras. To be fair, Teresa specifically said the bottle was for Joe.
Dun, dun, DUN! Dolores walks in and she’s carrying said gift. Melissa asks Dolores where she got the Johnnie Walker Blue Label from and she says Teresa called her before the party and asked her to bring it. Sneaky Teresa isn’t at the party but she somehow made herself the center of it.
Joe Gorga is still big mad at Teresa Giudice
The bottle of Johnnie has infiltrated the group like the Trojan Horse so Melissa brings it inside. However, there’s the card attached. Joe says, “You lose your parents. What do we have left? I met her new man, I opened my heart up to him. And you know what he did? He screwed me instantly. And I still accepted it.”
“When they screwed me, I forgave them. And within two months, he hires investigators to follow me to make me look like a bad guy to the press and to the world. And you want to come and throw me a card after you tell me you never want to see me again?” he continues.
Joe asks for the card and after everyone tells him to read it when he’s alone, he dramatically tosses it in the fire.
“I have loved her unconditionally, I’ve loved those children, I have taken her sh*t. You know what? I’m dead to them. So what do you want to do, give me a card after you tell me you never want to see me again?” he says.
Rachel Fuda is big mad at Teresa Giudice
The big meeting gets brought up and Dolores asks Rachel if Teresa was called out for mortgage fraud. Rachel admits that John said that but then defends him by telling the group Teresa used his ex to dig up dirt on them. “I can’t stick up for that one, no,” Dolores admits.
“This is a story that nobody here except me and John know anything about. So who the f*ck are you to speak on something about my f*cking family and my kid?” Rachel rants. Melissa sees her classy party going down the drain.
“I have never seen somebody hate somebody else so much in my life,” Jackie Goldschneider tells Jen Fessler. “I think she has people in her ear.”
Jackie speaks up and tells the group that she thinks Rachel had no shot of forgiving Teresa with Margaret and Melissa as her friends.
Rachel responds, “If that were true, I wouldn’t have went in the first place.” Jackie argues that John went in without intending to make amends with Luis, to which Rachel disagrees.
After the convo, Dolores goes up to Margaret Josephs and asks if she’s going to talk to Jackie. She mentions the comment about how Rachel has people in her ear, one being Marge. “She’s a real douche,” Margaret says and goes to find Jackie.
Jackie Goldschneider vs. Margaret Josephs
Margaret questions Jackie and when she tries to defend herself, Melissa jumps in and points out that she wrote in her memoir that Teresa caused her to relapse with her eating disorder. Jackie argues but Melissa has had enough and walks away.
Jackie continues to argue with Margaret and tells her, “You have insinuated that all of my success is due to you.” Margaret responds, “That’s your insecurity.”
“No, you said that I have a book deal because you championed me,” Jackie says. Margaret shoots back that she was only upset about Jackie not sending her a copy of her book. “You’re mad that I’m friends with Teresa and too bad,” Jackie responds and storms off.
Margaret then tells Dolores how Jackie got mad at her for not tagging her in a picture. “It was a total accident,” Dolores says. “I had to talk her off the ledge for that too,” Margaret says. She then sees Jackie hugging her husband Joe Benigno and interrupts them. “Just don’t acknowledge her,” she tells him right in front of Jackie.
Jennifer Aydin and Danielle Cabral have their own talk
The “RHONJ” producers are producing and Jennifer has a talk with Danielle about how she used Lina’s hairstyling services and left her out of the VIP section of her charity event. “Listen, if I agreed with what you did, like, I would have stuck up for you,” Jennifer tells her.
Danielle accuses Jennifer of talking smack about her, to which she responds, “I didn’t agree with that behavior. And you kept saying like, ‘Who is she to be with us?’ And I don’t like that kind of talk, Danielle.”
“Being like a true success in life, you shouldn’t have to like, push people out of the way to get there,” Jennifer adds. Danielle responds by saying Lina gave her a blowout one time and didn’t know her “from a f*cking hole in the wall.”
Danielle explains in a confessional that she hosted this charity event and had a secure location for herself and her close friends. Somehow, everyone including Lina, made their way in and Danielle thought it was a security issue so she had them thrown out.
Now the real issue comes to light. Jennifer is upset that Danielle had a step-and-repeat and didn’t include her husband’s plastic surgery practice on the backdrop.
“Did you do anything for the event?” Danielle screeches. “Did you put out any money? I tried to feed you good, I got you private cars to go there.”
She then tries to make nice with Jennifer and says that if she dropped the ball, she’s sorry. “But you should have talked to me about it so it doesn’t boil up to this argument,” Danielle adds.
Margaret Josephs goes in for the kill
Jackie goes up to Dolores, who tells her that she heard from Margaret that she was upset about not being tagged in a photo. “I didn’t sh*t-talk you at all,” Jackie promises. Meanwhile, Margaret is in the background furiously texting.
“I just sent the screenshot of what Jackie said about Dolores. Tell her to check her phone,” she tells her minion husband.
Joe Benigno holds up his phone and indicates to Dolores to check hers. She puts on her reading glasses and sees the text from Jackie to Margaret which reads, “Intentional? She tagged every cast member and spouse except me and Evan.” Another says, “She’s a f*cking slob and I hate her.”
Dolores shows Jackie the text and asks her, “I’m a slob?” She responds, “No, that’s so mean. That’s disgusting. That’s what she sent you?”
Jackie argues that she meant the situation was a slob, not Dolores. “I apologize for that.” She then says, “Listen to me Dolores, the things she said about you and Paul are horrendous. She doesn’t put anything in writing, the things she says about everyone.”
“She’s a lot smarter than you, I guess,” Dolores says. Jackie knows when she’s lost and walks away.
