The “Real Housewives of New York City” Season 4 cast is at Erin Lichy’s house in the Hamptons and it’s time to hit some balls — tennis, that is.
Tennis pro Tino introduces himself and all the housewives have a lady boner, including Erin. She’s a trust fund baby so she’s the only one decent at playing while the others suck. At least Jessel Taank has these cute cherry ankle socks so she’s winning in the fashion department.
Ubah Hassan and Jenna Lyons aren’t even trying and they’re sitting on the sidelines providing commentary.
During a break, Jessel asks newbie Racquel Chevremont how she got her last name and it’s a sad story. The art dealer explains that she grew up without a father and the one time she reached out to him as a child, he told her never to contact him again.
When Racquel’s uncle intervened, she met her dad during Thanksgiving at 12 years old and after dinner was over, he pretty much pushed her out the door. “And so I went home and I was like, ‘I don’t want this man’s name.'”
Racquel’s mom didn’t want her to take her last name either, because she grew up with a crappy father as well so they went down the family name until they decided on a relative they admired.
Brynn Whitfield has gone through a similar situation so she understands. They share a tearful hug. “I get it. It’s a hole in your soul you don’t get rid of ever,” she tells Racquel.
Pavlovas and cockroaches
Brynn is over the drama between her, Ubah, and Sai De Silva. She wants to go home and Erin understands her frustration, having been attacked the season before.
Jenna checks on Brynn and senses that something is wrong. Brynn vents to her about Ubah and Sai, and Jenna convinces her to stay if she lends her all her diamonds, which probably amount to Brynn’s yearly rent.
All the housewives except for Brynn are cooking dinner and it’s a hodgepodge of food – picadillo, rice and beans, lamb, a salad, creamy potatoes, and Jenna’s pavlova.
For those who don’t know what a pavlova is, it’s a “dessert consisting of a meringue base or shell filled with whipped cream and fruit,” per Google. Sounds very … soft.
In order to cheer Brynn up, Erin tells Brynn she wants to prank the girls with fake cockroaches. First, Erin does a prayer for Shabbat and doles out bread to her “Real Housewives of New York City” castmates.
After dinner and a fun game of Never Have I Ever, it’s time for dessert. Erin gets up to help Jenna with her pavlova so that she can slip a couple of pesky pests in there.
They all dig into the creamy treat when Jessel discovers an unwanted visitor on her plate. She lets out a loud scream and then Ubah starts gagging.
The other housewives are from New York City so they quickly discern that it’s fake but Ubah runs to the bathroom and starts hurling.
Then, Sai goes to check on her and upon seeing Ubah throwing up, proceeds to yak into the sink. It’s like the scene from “The Goonies” where Chunk tells the story about him fake puking at the movie theater as a prank, which in turn causes everyone else to throw up for real.
Ubah comes back and is able to make fun of herself. They all have a laugh about the prank and go to bed in good spirits. Yay.
Ubah Hassan vs. Brynn Whitfield again
The next day, Erin has breakfast made by professional chefs so no hanky panky in the food. Brynn low-key coaches newbie Rebecca Minkoff on how to throw shade as a housewife and the breaking of the fourth wall is just too much at this point.
Ubah gives Brynn a big hug and it turns out they had a talk the night before and they now love each other again. It doesn’t last long, however, after Ubah talks and Brynn cuts her off.
“Here’s the thing. Every time I’m out of alignment is because of Brynn,” Ubah announces. “I don’t like to be interrupted. When I’m having a conversation with someone else, let me finish.”
Jenna is confused because she thought they were about to have a kumbaya moment.
In a confessional, Brynn explained that the night before, she told Ubah to use her words wisely instead of coming across as an “angry Black woman.”
Erin had a feeling that Ubah would think about that and have a problem with Brynn policing her words.
At the table, Ubah tells Brynn that English isn’t her first language and when she gets steamrolled, she loses her train of thought. “Please don’t do that,” she pleads. “You are kind, but you are very condescending.”
As for Brynn, she asks Ubah not to call her names while they’re arguing. Instead of agreeing, Ubah just says that if Brynn is being condescending, she has no problem calling her a “snake.”
At this point, Brynn doesn’t even want to bother with Ubah anymore and wants to get the hell out of the Hamptons.
