After a long season, “The Real Housewives of Miami” Season 6 is finally coming to an end, which means we won’t have to see Larsa Pippen play the victim anymore. However, the last episode just said “Hold my beer,” because it opens up with Larsa complaining to Marcus Jordan after he asks her how padel (some new type of tennis/pickleball) with the girls was. “I gotta be honest with you. I felt like I was being interrogated by, like, Adriana [de Moura] and Kiki [Barth]. About your dad,” she tells him. ICYMI, she’s referring to when Michael Jordan told reporters he did not approve of his son’s relationship with Larsa.
Larsa and Marcus start recording an episode of their podcast “Separation Anxiety” to discuss the dad situation. “I was kind of like, embarrassed. People started to think that, online they were saying that I was lying,” Larsa states. “If there was ever any, uh, true red flags or cause for pause, you know, I would have heard about it by now, and I haven’t,” Marcus reassures her. Larsa doesn’t look convinced.
Guerdy Abraira is mad at Larsa Pippen over tabloid drama
Guerdy Abraira visits Nicole Martin at her house and tells her she’s gained 10 pounds from staying in bed since the Mexico City trip. Nicole tells Guerdy that since she took out her IUD, she and her husband Anthony Lopez are ready to start trying for a baby.
The two start talking about Adriana’s upcoming party. “I feel like Adriana’s party is gonna be like, the last date night for me and Russell. Because, then goes chemo, and like, I can’t be in contact with people, getting infected again. I need to be in my hub, at home,” Guerdy shares.
She adds that she’s getting to a place where she can talk more openly about her cancer but says, “That was the whole point of me, like, wanting to tell the girls by myself, when I was ready, and Larsa took that away from me.”
Then, Guerdy starts talking about how Larsa made such a big deal about how she bit her lightly on the shoulder during their Mexico trip. There are screenshots of Larsa telling the press someone bit her, which sounds more ominous than it was. “Why are you trying to be a clickbait whore?” Guerdy asks. “It’s like you take one step forward and seven steps back,” Nicole agrees.
Alexia Nepola has a nice moment with her son Peter Rosello
Alexia Nepola is unpacking in her new apartment with the help of her son Peter Rosello. “For not cooking, you have a lot of kitchen stuff,” he mumbles. Alexia talks to Peter about planning for the future in case she’s not around. “Even though your father’s here, you know, your father legally cannot because of his situation.” The situation being that Peter and Frankie’s father was in prison on cocaine dealing charges.
Alexia asks Peter if he’s willing to be Frankie’s legal guardian if something happens to her. “I’ve already thought about that,” he mutters.
“Peter is such a good son and brother, and he never gets the credit for it because you know, people always focus on other things,” Alexia says in a confessional. Flashback to Todd Nepola yelling at Peter years ago for allowing Frankie to smoke marijuana.
“A lot of things have happened and changed in the last six years and I think that you are in a stage right now in your life where, God forbid, you know, I wasn’t here tomorrow, that you would look out for him,” she tells her son. “I got you,” he murmurs.
Julia Lemigova wants to sell jam for $30
Lisa Hochstein’s mom and aunt have come to visit to help take care of her kids while she and Jody Glidden go on a “much-needed vacation.” They drink some wine and she complains about Lenny Hochstein.
Adriana visits Julia Lemigova and her goats at the farm. It seems Julia’s latest project is making homemade jam, which she plans on selling for $30. Doesn’t she know we’re in a recession right now? People cannot pay $30 for a small jar of jam, no matter if the berries were hand-picked and squeezed by a “RHOM” star.
When Adriana expresses shock at the price, Julia asks, “That’s not enough?” Not everyone is married to Martina Navratilova and has two homes in Miami, one of which is a large farm big enough for 500 goats.
“A jam price is about five bucks,” Adriana the Reasonable says in a confessional. “That’s how much a jam should cost. Does it get you high? Does it get you horny? We need to reassess this business right now.”
Adriana talks about her upcoming party with Emilio Estefan and tells Julia she hopes the other ladies behave themselves. Because, you know, they’re totally not prone to screaming at each other during posh events. It’s raining and they call Martina to tell her that Julia got a pet pig. Martina is surprisingly supportive of the new addition to the family.
Guerdy Abraira is still gorgeous without hair
In preparation for chemo, Guerdy shaves off her hair with the help of her husband Russell Abraira. She starts tearing up right away. “I don’t know what I would have done without you,” she tells him. Together, they cut off her braids and he shaves off the rest of her hair. She’s breaking down but Russell is calm and reassures her lovingly, “You’re very beautiful. It doesn’t look bad at all. Trust me. You look good.”
It’s the night of Adriana’s party and performance. Larsa tells the group that she and Marcus are good and Michael Jordan approves of their relationship, even though no one asked. Julia asks Larsa, “Were you aware of his feelings?” to which Larsa responds quite defensively, “Marcus is an adult. I’m an adult. Do you need permission from your mom?”
Larsa finds herself in the hot seat again when Guerdy accuses her of talking about her in the press. Larsa responds with, “Did I say your name?” At this point, it’s just semantics. Guerdy says, “You’re going to play that game. Don’t play dumb.” Larsa then shoots back with, “You’re dumb. I’m not playing dumb. You’re dumb.” It’s starting to sound like a kindergarten fight.
Then, in a new low, Larsa yells, “I feel bad for you. Go take care of your health, Guerdy.” Even Alexia is so shocked, she can’t even say, “Aye, por favor!”
The two continue to squabble while people look on. In a confessional, Larsa says, “I’m a victim here too. I’m sick too. I’m sick over it.” Not the same thing, Larsa.
At the party, Guerdy tells Larsa, “Tomorrow I get my blood test and I get chemo right away … It’s all about timing and the fact is that no one here would do what [you’re] doing if they were my friend and care about me.” She takes off her wig and shows her shaved head. “This is what I did today, okay?”
The group is finally silenced — for a split second. Larsa starts screaming again and Russell comes over to grab Guerdy. Larsa keeps insisting the bite remark was a joke.
Adriana comes out to perform and people are finally having fun. Everyone is proud of her and they have their gratuitous end-of-season toast. Things aren’t going to be so copacetic at the reunion, according to the teaser.
