The “Vanderpump Rules” group is still in Tahoe (minus Ariana Madix and Katie Maloney, of course). Tom Sandoval is writing in his diary. “Yesterday was one of the craziest filming experiences I’ve had since being on this show,” he writes. He’s forgetting Season 10 when he got caught cheating on Ariana with Rachel Leviss.
Tom Schwartz is bird-watching and combined with his new love of plants, he’s apparently turned into a grandpa. Graham the dog is how re-named Hippie.
Scheana Shay feels feelings about Tom Sandoval
Scheana Shay tells Lala Kent that she texted Ariana, who asked how the trip was going. Scheana informed her BFF that everything was copacetic so far and no one has fought yet. She then tells Lala how hard it is to not be friends with Sandoval because he Venmoed her money during the pandemic when her income was zero.
“During the pandemic, I woke up to several thousand dollars in my account,” Scheana tearfully says in a confessional. “He knew I was struggling at the time. My podcast got canceled, I’m pregnant, I had no income — and he was there for me in a time when no one else was.”
“I’m not saying I’m gonna be his best friend again. I’m not saying come over for f***ing dinner, let me paint your toenails white. I’m struggling not forgiving this human who has been there for me,” Scheana tells Lala. Despite her guilt, Scheana says, “I’m Team Ariana ’til I die.”
Back in Los Angeles, Ariana is living her best life doing a photo shoot for her new book, “Single AF,” which she calls her “breakup album.” Katie comes to visit her and Ariana breaks down her chapters, which are basically a middle finger to Sandoval.
Shannon heals the group
Cut to Tahoe, Sandoval is doing pushups because bruh, and he’s interrupted by Shannon, the yoga and wellness instructor. He introduces Graham Hippie and he helps her set up. She asks if there’s anything he wants her to “touch on” during the session.
“I was with this girl for a long time,” he says as if Shannon doesn’t know about Scandoval. “Basically had an affair with her friend and, uh, it was really bad,” he tells her unnecessarily. He has this idea that since then, the group doesn’t hate him and thinks that a guided meditation will solve all of their issues.
Everyone’s there besides Brock Davies, who comes late and does that weird tiptoe walk when you’re trying to sneak into somewhere. Scheana is annoyed.
The meditation starts. Sandoval apparently has flashbacks of last year, according to the editors who show scenes of his fall from grace. Shannon has them sit back-to-back with their neighboring partners and of course, Scheana and Sandoval are paired up. How convenient. Scheana looks sufficiently awkward.
Just when Shannon gives them permission to feel their feelings, Scheana starts crying and says she’s not okay. She runs away prettily and Brock goes after her. He advises her to face her issues with Sandoval and she tells him, “I would like to do this with my husband.” Brock deflects by saying, “There’s other stuff here,” trying to redirect her to other problems.
Schwartz tells Shannon that he saw a bird. “I thought it was a good omen,” he tells the group. Brock tries to mansplain why Scheana and Sandoval should work things out but he’s not understanding why she’s frustrated with him.
During meditation, Scheana has flashbacks about her special moments with Sandoval, who always had her back even when the other cast were being mean girls to her. Fast forward several years and Scheana’s opinion has changed.
However, Shannon tells the group to face each other and imagine what their lives would be like if the other person was no longer with them. Wow, Shannon’s better than Andy Cohen. She should be hired as a producer.
Scheana and Sandoval look at each other and tears fall. “I know I need to like, let go of the hate, ’cause that’s not good for me. But, like, I’m so mad at you still,” she tells him. Tears run down his face too.
Ariana Madix doesn’t want to be friends with Sandoval’s friends
After Scheana texted Ariana what transpired at the yoga/healing session, Ariana tells Katie that she’s not going to share friends with Sandoval. “I’ve made it very clear, it doesn’t work for me to have mutual friends with Tom Sandoval, because I don’t want him having access to me and my life. I’m not giving any ultimatums. I’m not telling anybody what to do, but I will be putting my time and my energy into friendships where I feel safe,” Ariana says in a confessional. This doesn’t bode well for Ariana and Scheana’s friendship.
Sandoval sticks his foot in his mouth yet again
The Tahoe group is on a very lovely gondola ride overlooking the mountains and lakes but Sandoval has to ruin it with his Dear Diary thoughts. He blames Scheana’s OCD on how she reacted to him and says, “One thing to keep in mind is, I did not do any of this. Neither Raquel nor I — Rachel nor I — did any of this with the intention of hurting anyone. The way you guys reacted was very intentionally trying to hurt both Raquel and I.”
Even Schwartz can’t defend his ride-or-die at that moment. Brock points out that Rachel hit Scheana with a restraining order. “Because she got punched in the goddamn face,” is Sandoval’s response.
In a confessional, Brock does math and says Sandoval has 10% accountability and 90% blame toward others for what went down.
Brock and Sandoval argue about rumors that Brock and Rachel were “flirty.” Brock accuses Sandoval’s camp of spreading the lies when he always treated Rachel like a “little sister.” The argument continues off the gondola and Brock points out that Sandoval has Rachel’s back even though she’s ghosted him, alluding to their unhealthy relationship. “Okay, dude,” Sandoval replies.
The group orders refreshments and Schwartz tells the lady at the window, “Well, I’m gonna get a nice cold brewski,” again proving that he’s turned into a geriatric. Someone get him an AARP membership.
Sandoval and Brock make up. James pretends he’s falling off the high peak of the mountain, which annoys Ally Lewber.
It’s boat time and Graham Hippie has miraculously appeared out of nowhere. Perhaps Lisa Vanderpump brought him on her yacht. If so, he has seriously downgraded from eating filet mignon to Beneful.
The group has fun and does backflips in the water. It almost looks like they’re “Below Deck” charter guests but they’re way too poor.
Ariana Madix and Katie Maloney try to focus on business
Who has time to play? Not Ariana and Katie when they have to open up their sandwich shop. They interview prospective employees while the rest of the group is partying it up in Lake Tahoe. Their chef consultant Penny asks an interviewee what his favorite cured meat is, which is akin to someone asking ridiculous interview questions like, if you were a vegetable, what would you be? He replies, “Salami,” which is the safest of all cured meats. Prosciutto would have been slightly more sophisticated but soppressata is also a popular, more peppery choice.
Either way, the question was just not necessary, PENNY.
Scheana FaceTimes with Katie and Ariana. Scheana describes the meditation session and she makes it all about her again when she tells Ariana that she misses Sandoval, despite him cheating on her BFFFL with their mutual friend and lying to their faces for almost a year. Poor Scheana.
Ariana is a better friend than most and tells Scheana, “Yeah, he put you in that position, as he did me and everybody.” Scheana goes on and on about how she feels bad for Sandoval and Katie tells the camera, “Scheana’s definitely getting close to crossing a line with Ariana. That was her life partner of a decade.”
Scheana isn’t reading the room and tells Ariana, “I miss him. I miss my friend.” Ariana is still understanding but Katie is like, dude, she’s toeing the line. Penny, who is not part of the conversation or the group of friends, interjects, “Yeah.”
“Where the f*** is [your head] at?” Katies asks. “Where is it at?” Penny echoes.
Lala Kent forces Sandoval to get real
On the boat, Sandoval is doing shots of oxygen and Lala calls him out about him telling her, “You need to be real,” particularly on the day he got caught with Scandoval and said she had “douchey cockiness.” She asks him how he could say those things about her given how he was sneaking around.
In a confessional, Sandoval compares his situation to a “seven-month” relationship while Lala “lied for a few years of a six-year relationship.” Apparently, his situation was more forgivable. He claims he’s taking accountability as he gets defensive. There’s yelling. Is Shannon around?
Lala gets livid that Sandoval is comparing her past to make excuses for his present situation. He doesn’t seem to get why she’s mad and he says, “The biggest issue I always have with Lala trying to pry into people’s closets and pull out skeletons is her motivation.” He finally says, “But I see how it is hypocritical for me to tell her to be real when I was hiding a seven-month affair.” Perhaps there’s room for a Sandoval redemption after all.
Lala and Sandoval finally come to an agreement and Scheana takes credit for it. “For some reason, I think he understood it more from me,” she says, not trying to steal the spotlight at all while standing in between Lala and Sandoval.
Scheana complains that she’s getting slammed for taking a picture next to Sandoval during the height of Scandoval. Lala tries to comfort her but Scheana doesn’t feel supported by Ariana. “I just am hurting still,” Scheana cries.
“It’s time for Ariana to pull her head from out of her own ass. She needs to come back to reality and remember who her friends are and what they’ve done for her. Scheana has been ride-or-die since day one for Ariana and now it’s time for Ariana to return the favor,” Lala says in a confessional.
“Why can I never have one moment where it can be about me?” Scheana asks, unironically.
