Now that “Below Deck” Season 11 is over, Bravo has graced us fans with a new season of “Below Deck Mediterranean!” For Season 9, Captain Sandy Yawn is of course at the helm and Aesha Scott has returned with darker hair to act as chief stew.
Aesha comes aboard the Mustique and gives Sandy a huge hug. It’s like a long-lost reunion. Newcomer Iain Maclean the bosun is next. He has a lot of experience, which the cap is happy about. Jono Shillingord the chef comes in and introduces himself. He’s a former architect who is now a self-taught chef.
Elena Dubaich, who filled in briefly as a stew in Season 7, returns as a full-time cast member. The last to round up the cast are deckhands Joe Bradley, Nathan Gallagher, and Gael Cameron, as well as stew Bri Muller. Based on experience, Aesha makes Elena the second stew and Iain gives Joe the lead deckhand title.
The first charter is a provision fiasco
The “Below Deck Mediterranean” cast has less than 24 hours to get the boat in tip-top shape before the first guests arrive. They’re a bunch of Gen Z influencers from England who want everything sparkly and Instagram-friendly.
Unfortunately, when the provisions come, most of the supplies are missing, including all the champagne and rosé. Aesha is pissed.
She calls the provisioner, who promises her she’ll get the stuff she needs. Jono also calls them to make sure all his seafood gets sent over.
The next morning, Aesha is still waiting for the provisions. They tell her it’ll get there 15 minutes before the guests are scheduled to arrive. She has one bottle of champagne to greet them with.
Aesha and Jono are stressed out so they start twerking in the galley. Except Aesha can’t twerk to save her life and looks like a dog humping a leg. “You’ll get there,” Jono laughs.
The guests come on board and they’re given a quarter glass of champagne each. They’re all so young, yet rich enough to charter a yacht, which makes Millenials wonder what they did wrong in their lives.
Aesha informs them that there’s no rosé or champagne but she can make them cocktails. They ask if they can go on shore to buy some wine and when Sandy texts the provisioner, they tell her they’ll send some over right away.
All she gets is some bottles of champagne, as they’re not able to get rosé or red wine. Aren’t they in Greece, the land of plentiful wine?
Things get worse for the Below Deck Mediterranean crew
Sandy has anchored the boat to a beautiful spot in the middle of the ocean but the guests keep complaining about the lack of rosé.
After a long day of steaming the guests’ clothes, Bri is still not done and they have nothing to wear. “I know that Bri is relatively green, but I asked her to steam like three things in the laundry,” Aesha tells the cameras.
One of the guests actually goes to the laundry room to find his shirt and Bri starts to spiral. Just when things can’t get any worse, Aesha calls the provisioner who tells her, “Unfortunately, your items were delivered to the wrong water taxi but I have everything now and it’s coming to you in an hour.”
Aesha looks like Snoopy when he’s upset. She tells them that they “f*cking suck.”
Aesha and Jono scramble to do the best they can to get dinner ready. The chef makes crab cakes instead of lobster for the requested surf and turf dinner.
They’re all seated at the table and want wine but there is none. What is a Gen Z to do? Thankfully, the boat comes with the provisions and the guests want their Cabernet Sauvignon STAT. Unfortunately, the red wine is missing. This is getting ridiculous. At this point, the crew can just Postmates some wine to the boat.
“To be on a boat and not have any wine is quite extreme,” a guest says. She’s right and they’re annoyed but being polite about it … for now. At least they rave about the food.
The Below Deck Mediterranean guests want food dammit
It’s late at night and the guests are still partying. They’re 20-somethings so they don’t know hangovers yet. Elena brings out a pitcher of margaritas and they ask for a mojito and Moscow mule too. If they can’t have wine, they’re going to order complicated cockies.
A charter guest comes out in a curly wig, tinted sunglasses, and a shiny tracksuit. Anything for Instagram likes, right? They make a mess by popping confetti on the deck. If Bethenny Frankel from “The Real Housewives of New York City” was there, she’d yell at them, “GO TO SLEEP! GO TO SLEEP!”
Alas, they request some grilled cheese sandwiches, nachos, guacamole, and mac and cheese. Elena tells them, “No worries!” Except it is worries.
She knocks on Jono’s door, who is sleeping, and tells him the guests ordered too much food for her to make on her own. “We’ll make it together. I’ll help you,” she whispers. “I don’t think so,” he says. She tells him that she’ll just make them grilled cheese and that’s all they’ll get. He’s like, “Cool bruh, zzzzzzzz.”
The guests are getting antsy and it’s just Elena trying to make grilled cheeses while they’re demanding mojitos, Moscow mules, and a rosé. She’s getting overwhelmed and tries to get Jono up again. He’s not having it. “No,” he tells her and she’s pissed because he’s leaving her hanging to look bad in front of the guests. Their tip is going to be shite, as the English say.
