It’s a brand new season of “The Real Housewives of New Jersey” and the episode starts with Dolores Catania sitting alone at a table like she’s the Godfather. She’s apparently waiting to make someone an offer they can’t refuse but who it is, no one knows yet.
Cut to scenes of everyone yelling and fighting and Dolores calling someone the See You Next Tuesday word. It’s a flash forward of three months later and then we rewind to the present time.
Rachel Fuda has a family dinner at her house and tells everyone that she’s throwing Jen Fessler a surprise birthday party with her husband Jeff Fessler. She knows Jen doesn’t want to leave anyone out so she sent Teresa Giudice and Jennifer Aydin an invite. Teresa responded but all she got were crickets from Jennifer.
Rachel makes it clear that she only invited Teresa for Jen and that she wants nothing to do with her after her husband Louis Ruelas allegedly hired an investigator to dig up dirt on her family.
Teresa Giudice and Melissa Gorga still despise each other
Melissa Gorga has finally moved into her new house and she’s getting ready to send Antonia off to college. Teresa’s daughter Gabriella is going away to college as well.
“I have to admit something to you. A few weeks ago, I kept crying,” Teresa tells her. She keeps squealing in a very high-pitched voice, which Melissa’s dog probably heard from 20 miles away.
“When I went to prison away, I told them to email me every day. Gabriella was the only one. She emailed me every single day,” Teresa tells the cameras. Apparently, that’s her favorite dorter.
Melissa tells her husband Joe Gorga about Jen’s birthday party and how everyone is going to be there. She’s talking about Teresa and Jennifer.
In a confessional, a producer asks Melissa if she has anything to say about Teresa. “I really don’t want to answer any questions about Teresa this year,” she answers.
Margaret Josephs opens up about losing her ex-husband Jan
Jen is trying to learn the guitar and she’s practicing “Amazing Grace.” Her husband Jeff walks in and says, “I thought I heard one of the cats screaming.”
“Excuse me?” she says while shooting him a death glare. “Rachel, did you hear me?” she asks her daughter. “Yeah, I heard you. You’re just like, so, so bad,” she responds. She struggles through the first notes of “When the Saints Go Marching In” and thankfully Margaret Josephs comes to visit.
They sit outside and eat pasta salad. Margaret complains that she’s too busy lately and never has a chance to just chill. She tells Jen that her stepson Bret got engaged but is sad that her late ex-husband Jan won’t be at the wedding.
As People reported in Septemeber 2022, Jan died from a sudden heart attack just before his 75th birthday.
“So for him not to see, you know, some of my kids get married, it’s a weird feeling,” Margaret tells Jen tearfully.
She tells the cameras that when Jan died, she was so focused on taking care of her family that she didn’t have a chance to process his death until things settled down. “And that’s when the grieving kicks in,” she says.
Margaret doesn’t want to wah-wah all through her visit so she suggests taking Jen out for her birthday to get her to the surprise party. “That’s nice. I love that. That will be fun,” Jen says, unknowingly.
Jen says Teresa called her on her birthday and Margaret declares her and Louis dead to her. “If someone called my kid and threatened my kid, that would be it,” Jen says.
Flashback to last season’s reunion when Margaret accused Louis of calling her son at work and threatening him.
Jen tells Margaret that Teresa has always been nice to her so she doesn’t have a personal issue with her. However, she wants to have a conversation with her about the phone call situation. Margaret emphatically tells Jen not to bring her name up to Teresa. “I don’t want them to utter my name.”
“You do remember that when this all first went down, and you said to me, ‘I’m not going to do this again, I’m never going to see those people again. And I did say to you, ‘Then I’m not going to see those people again either. I meant it,” Jen says. Too bad nobody remembered that when they invited her to Jen’s birthday party. Oopsie!
Teresa Giudice thinks everyone is out for her
Teresa, Louis, Dolores, and her boyfriend Paul Connell meet up for dinner. Teresa shares that Louis texted John to meet up and clear the air. John replied that they could just talk at Jen’s party, which will go over well.
At this point, the cast is totally divided. Teresa says she doesn’t want to even say hi to Joe and Melissa. “Frank told Louie that they all met at Margaret’s house before [the Season 13 reunion] happened to have a plan to go against Louie and I,” she tells Dolores.
Then, Teresa drops another bomb. “Danielle [Cabral] told me at New York, Jen Fessler said, like to the other group sitting across from us, ‘You guys didn’t execute the plan correctly … so that confirms what Frank said.”
Paul nods his head and says he heard that too. Teresa says she has every intention of asking Jen about it on her birthday. It’s looking like an unhappy celebration thus far.
Jen Fessler’s party starts off awkward
Thankfully, Louis had a business meeting in Florida on the day of Jen’s party so he can’t go and start a fight with John. Teresa is going with Jennifer, whose husband Bill Aydin is busy doing surgeries.
They gossip about John and all the rumors that have come out about him. Flashback to Teresa telling Louis, “Oh my god, so much sh*t came out in the internet. His ex was saying he was like, the biggest drug dealer in Bergen County. And he likes purple double-sided dildo.” The purple is oddly specific.
The guys joke about the dildo rumor and then Teresa walks in with Jennifer. Joe’s forehead vein is about to jump out of his head. Does anyone have a blood pressure monitor?
The birthday girl is about to arrive so they all get ready to surprise her. Jen looks appropriately surprised.
Jennifer is apparently college-aged again because she orders a Bacardi and Diet Coke. She then asks Teresa if she said hi to Margaret and Teresa looks disgusted and says, “No.” Jennifer expresses her surprise that Margaret was nice to her.
“Hello, she’s nice to you because you’re my friend,” Teresa tells her, which doesn’t make much sense. “I don’t know, usually people are not nice to me because I’m your friend,” Jennifer quips. Haha!
The Real Househusbands of New Jersey
The guys are all kekeing with each other, which Dolores likes to see. Then, Joe asks Paul where his “boy” is, meaning Louis. “He’s away on business,” Paul answers. John tells them, “Surprised because he reached out to me and said he wanted to talk.”
Paul tells him that a party is not the place for a private conversation. “I would have it, like, at a coffee place, sit down, and get it all out.”
“Why would I give a man who disrespected my family the respect to meet him somewhere,” John replies. “You guys got his back. You guys are flying in wing with him.”
“I’m your friend and I’m his friend. I’m neutral to the situation,” Paul says. “I gotta be honest, it looks like you’re on a side,” John shoots back.
“Listen, I’m on no one’s f*cking schedule, that’s the bottom line. So I’m going to say what I think,” Paul responds. At this point, he looks like a tomato.
John tries to respond but Paul is not letting him talk and tells him, “Shut the f*ck up.” This is turning into the “Real Househusbands of New Jersey.” Dolores comes over to collect her man and leave the party. “I will f*cking rip heads off,” Paul says as they exit.
Teresa and Jennifer say their goodbyes and Teresa can’t help but mention to Rachel that Louis tried to talk to John one-on-one. “He wanted to clear the air before coming here.”
“John and Louie are never going to be friends,” Rachel emphasizes. “As a gentleman, they meet privately,” Teresa says. “What do you know about gentlemen?” Rachel asks. Teresa then brings up the drug dealing rumors. Rachel invites Teresa to say that to John’s face.
He asks her where she heard the rumors. “It’s out on social media,” she screeches, not knowing that Instagram is not a reliable source. They’re yelling at each other and Jen takes the mic to say, “I’m having the best time regardless of the bloodshed.”
