The cast of “The Real Housewives of Potomac” Season 8 is back from the Dominican Republic and now they’re stuck in rainy ole Maryland. Candiace Dillard visits Keiarna Stewart at her beauty med spa to get her bikini area lasered. Wendy Osefa joins her so it’s a “RHOP” hair removal party.
Candiace says her husband Chris Dillard is excited because now she can’t use her hairy coochie as an excuse to not do the dirty deed with him. Guess she’s got to put out now. Candiace is pleasantly surprised that she doesn’t feel a thing — about the laser that is, not Chris.
Wendy gets her underarms done and it’s more painful for her. She talks about her podcast and reveals she’s having a hard time finding guests. The camera shows a close-up of her pits getting lasered, which is not what we want to see.
The ladies keke over wine and snacks. Candiace commends Keiarna for holding her own with the other housewives during the DR trip. “I enjoyed myself, even with me feeling sick in the room … I was shocked because no one checked,” she says, adding that she was surprised that Gizelle Bryant was the first one to make sure she was okay. Cough *Wendy* cough.
Wendy makes it known that she was very concerned for her so that Keiarna doesn’t change to the Green-Eyed Bandits’ side.
Candiace talks about her beef with Robyn Dixon and how she used the word “defamation.” She adds, stroking her braids like a villain strokes his beard. “I am privy to a lot of things that Robyn has said that are most certainly defamation.” When asked what they were, Candiace plays coy.
Gizelle Bryant gets ready to send her daughter to school
Grace Bryant is leaving for college and Gizelle Bryant is a sad mama. “I’ve been raising my daughters as a single mother since they were one or two years old,” she says in a confessional. “I always thought college and them leaving seemed so far off. It is here and it is slapping me in the face and I don’t like it.”
They all hug and Gizelle drives her to the airport as the twins Adore and Angel wave goodbye. Gizelle gives mom advice and tells Grace that she’s just a phone call away.
Charisse Jackson-Jordan invites everyone to a crab boil
“RHOP” alum Charisse Jackson-Jordan and Ashley Darby visit Robyn. “How art thou?’ Charisse says in her nasally voice. She tells the two that she got a massage and the masseur asked if she wanted a “vaginal massage,” which is a nice way of saying “happy ending.” Ashley chokes on her water. Charisse reveals she declined the offer.
Charisse announces that she’s going to have a crab boil and is going to invite Jacqueline Blake, Mia Thornton’s friend enemy. Ashley says it’s a great idea only because she knows that it’ll cause drama. She never turns down a messy opportunity. Charisse hopes that Jacqueline and Mia will make up because bringing fighting frenemies together in hopes of reconciliation always works in “Real Housewives.”
Nneka Ihim gets her makeup done for the crab boil which is totally a normal thing to get glammed up for. She talks about preparing for her IUI and looks thrilled about it.
Karen Huger makes Gizelle some packaged cookie dough for a pre-boil dessert. Gizelle gives her some pills to unclog her five arteries and it looks like they love each other again. Karen asks how Gizelle is doing after dropping off Grace. “You looked pitiful … you looked like Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer,” Karen says sadly. Gizelle tries to convince her to go to the crab boil but it’s a hard no for Karen.
Mia Thornton and Jacqueline Blake have a therapy session
The ladies minus Karen and Wendy, who’s getting an award of some sort, gather at Charisse’s house. Robyn and Candiace pointedly ignore each other. Nneka arrives wearing her Grande Dame crown and sash. Girl, your moment has passed. You can leave the crown at home.
Just as Mia arrives, Jacqueline calls her “evil.” There’s going to be some crab legs flying around soon. Surprisingly, Mia doesn’t react to her frenemy being there and says hi with a smile. Always the sh*t-stirrer, Gizelle tells Mia before the girl can even get a drink that Jacqueline just told everybody that they weren’t good. Mia doesn’t want to talk about their issues in front of the group, which they respect.
The women make fun of Charisse’s underseasoned crab but at least the drinks are flowing. Mia and Jacqueline have a one-on-one. “Full transparency, I was going through a lot. Mentally, I just had had enough so I didn’t have anything in me to give to anybody,” Mia tells her friend.
“At least have enough respect to say, ‘Jacqueline, this is … I’m going through sh*t. I’m sorry.’ You didn’t do that and then you continue to do things behind my back where it was just evil,” Jacqueline replies.
Mia says she never started their fight, she only responded after Jacqueline said that she needed more d*ck. Maybe Mia can get Charisse’s masseur’s number.
Jacqueline says she was just joking. “I need more d*ck!” she exclaims. Maybe she can get the masseur’s number as well.
Mia reveals that Jacqueline is a main source of topic during her therapy sessions . Jacqueline thinks it has to do with some “situation” that happened when they were young and Mia agrees. Flashback to last season when Mia cried about being sexually assaulted after Jacqueline left her in a vulnerable situation.
Jacqueline admits she feels guilt about the assault and therefore allows Mia to treat her a certain way. She reveals that she didn’t know what had happened to Mia until two years after it happened, which gives Mia some peace.
Things boil over during Charisse Jackson-Jordan’s crab boil
Things are all kumbaya until Charisse ruins it by addressing Robyn and Candiace’s rift. Candiace shares that Robyn shared private text messages between the two to a blogger/podcaster in an attempt to make her look “crazy.”
Robyn says it was to explain why their friendship ended. Candiace shares in a confessional a distorted voice message from someone who spilled what Robyn did. The two start yelling at each other in true “Real Housewives” fashion while Mama Charisse loses her sh*t over the two kids fighting at the dinner table. “I’m tired of it!” she yells. “I think she’s drunk,” Gizelle laughs.
“It’s bullish*t! Stop it!” Charisse keeps yelling, even though no one is fighting anymore. Candiace walks away and a cryangle comes out as she wipes away tears. “It’s fine,” she says. Ashley keeps eating crab, unbothered. At least Mia and Jacqueline made steps toward mending their friendship.
Candiace makes her exit. “Goodbye everyone — that matters.” Wonder who she’s talking about?
