It’s another weekend in the Hamptons and all the “Summer House” cast members are there, minus Jesse Solomon. The vibes are good and they’re going out after dinner. Everyone’s ready to “SEND IT,” even Amanda Batula, who is usually in her pimple cream and pajamas by now.
Danielle Olivera and Gabby Prescod are on the prowl. Meanwhile, Kyle Cooke stirs some sh*t by telling Paige DeSorbo that her boyfriend Craig Conover expressed concern about their relationship the last time he was there.
“He’s just like, ‘Dude, I’m no longer like, oh my god, we gotta get engaged because I don’t know if that’s what Paige wants,'” Kyle tells her.
“I know I’m going to marry him, but what I feel is, he doesn’t — it’s going to be on my terms, and like, if that’s not okay, then okay, well, that’s not okay for you,” Paige says.
“Paige, you have his balls on a f*cking mantle. There’s something holding you back and I just don’t know what it is,” Danielle tells her. “I’m going to keep it real with you, I think you’re giving him nothing.”
“Danielle stands on a very moral high ground that she can tell everyone when they are making the wrong decision or acting poorly, but when you turn the mirror over, ‘Where’d she go? Where’d she go?’ Runs right away. I’ve watched her do it to every single girl that I’ve ever lived with,” Paige says in a confessional.
Danielle Olivera hard launches her bangs
The next day, some people are more hungover than others but they’re going to have a party that day. Danielle pops up out of nowhere in a confessional and she has, out of all things, bangs.
“Tonight we’re having an Out of This World party, so all things extraterrestrial, aliens, and hopefully, a lot of single men,” she tells the cameras.
Lindsay Hubbard announces that she invited a single guy and Danielle and Gabby immediately perk up. “May the best single lady win,” Thirsty Danielle says.
It turns out that the guy was a balloon guy from the racecar party that they had the week prior and Lindsay thought he was hot.
He kind of looks like an older version of West Wilson but at least he can make animal shapes out of balloons, which is always fun at parties.
West Wilson has blue balls
Amanda, Paige, and West are hanging out by the pool. Amanda looks like a ’70s housewife living off of her husband’s mob money. “You look so good laying there,” Paige says.
West asks if they give it up on the first date and Amanda says she usually waits until the second or third date. When they ask him why, he tells them that he’s chased Ciara for about six weeks but they haven’t gone all the way yet.
He does admit that he and Ciara only went on two dates, which isn’t a lot for a six-week span. But then again, West is unemployed.
“Are you nervous you’re like, slipping into the friend zone, almost?” Paige asks. “No, but like, by now, we’ve usually made it home,” West answers.
In a confessional, West says, “She told me that she’s never dated anyone younger than like, 35 or something. Not only am I like, seven years younger than everyone she’s dated, I also just don’t have a job.” If he wants to buy Ciara some more deviled eggs on their dates, he better get employed, stat.
Carl Radke has no balls
Carl and Danielle are chatting by the pool and he tells her he’s happy she’s coming to his wedding with Lindsay. She says he and Lindsay seem to be getting along better and that he seems happier. Less stress, more life!
He then shares that Kyle has been after him about rejoining Loverboy and represent the non-alcoholic drinks. Danielle asks if he told Lindsay about it and he says, nope.
“One hundred percent, I am very gun shy about telling Lindsay about any kind of career opportunity,” Carl tells the cameras. Flashback to Lindsay shutting down his idea of a sober sports bar.
“I almost have to think about it so hard before I tell her just to prepare, like, what she’s going to ask back, especially when it comes to going back to work for Loverboy, because last summer, working at Loverboy was a huge source of stress for our relationship,” Carl continues.
“Making myself happy and also getting her approval, that can be challenging.”
Ciara Miller puts her foot down with West Wilson
Paige and Amanda love being in bed so much that they actually become the bed. Ciara comes in and they tell her that West complained to them about not getting any action from her.
Meanwhile, West is dressed like an alien and sneaks in to scare the girls.
He overhears part of the conversation and Ciara tells him to go away so that they can tell her the rest. “Basically he really wants to have sex with you,” Paige tells Ciara after West leaves.
“I don’t even know what he’s like, looking for or like, what he even wants. What are we really doing here? Just like, making out on the weekends and during the week,” she answers.
In a confessional, Ciara says, “Maybe I wish I was the type that could just sleep with anyone and not give a f*ck but I think sex is an intimate thing and people are much quicker to be vulnerable in that way and like won’t even tell you their feelings or like, be emotionally vulnerable.”
“That to me is so f*cking ass backwards that I can’t even wrap my head around it. I’m not hopping into bed with anyone unless you can tell me how you feel about me. Sorry, can’t do it. Actually, I’m not f*cking sorry,” Ciara tells the cameras. Yaaaas queen!
Drama in outer space
Joe the balloon guy comes and Danielle zooms over to him like she just got a rocket boost in Mario Kart.
Danielle doesn’t care that she’s wearing a foil hat but Gabrielle is hiding because she doesn’t want him to see her not glammed-up. Everyone gets dressed in their outer space gear and Ciara is a hot alien.
Everyone is having fun and kekeing when Joe the balloon guy comes sauntering in dressed up in a button-down and ripped jeans. It’s like Danielle has guy radar because she zeroes in on him and immediately takes him to get a drink.
Gabby just happens to be there and she says hi to Joe because she’s not a sweaty mess anymore. Danielle has sufficiently gotten her claws on Joe and Gabby is watching from a distance.
“You gotta swoop back in,” the girls tell Gabby. She tells the cameras, “What’s not going to happen is me vs. Danielle over someone who blows up balloons as a hobby.”
Gabby goes up to Joe oh-so-casually and asks him if he wants a shot. He asks her, “Do you want a shot?” She answers, “Mm-hmm,” without looking at him. Her game needs work.
Carl Radke and Lindsay Hubbard talk about his future
Carl finally tells Lindsay that Kyle wants him to come back to Loverboy. She asks him how he feels and he says he needs to think about it after getting burned out last year.
“It’s like, almost like going through a breakup, right? But like, eventually, you have to pick yourself up after that breakup and you have to move the f*ck on,” Lindsay tells him.
“But I really want to pursue and look at some other things while I still can,” he answers. “You said, ‘I’m hoping to have a plan by the end of this summer.’ And so we have three weeks until that. And I try not to like, bug you,” she says.
“Something that turns me on is like, when my man is out there like, crushing life,” Lindsay says. “You don’t think I’m crushing life?” Carl asks. “No, I don’t,” she says frankly.
Lindsay points out that they’re getting married soon and will be financially tied together. Also, if they have kids, she might want to be a stay-at-home mom and needs to feel secure that Carl will do the hustle to make money.
Carl tells the cameras, “I just think she gets fearful about getting married to someone who doesn’t have his career figured out. I’ll give her that, but it’s scary to have a partner that doesn’t believe fully in you and like, no matter what, you’re going to get it figured out.”
“I know I can do it, I just need my partner to believe that, and I don’t know if she does.”
