“The Valley” stars Jax Taylor and Michelle Lally continue their conversation in Big Bear about her texting multiple guys. She tells him that her husband Jesse Lally knows everything. What in the Jerry Springer is going on?
“I’m the kind of person, where let’s say, if I meet a celebrity, I get really excited because I see them as, like, a possibility that they could be a client or stuff like that,” she explains. “So I’m always calling, texting, emailing, meeting for coffee.”
He tells Michelle that Kristen Doute told him differently and that she was sending sexy pics. Michelle says, “Okay, well that’s wrong.” Jax doesn’t believe her and tells her to handle her business with Jesse.
Jax Taylor is the number one worst husband in The Valley group
Everyone from “The Valley” minus Kristen and Zack Wickham are hanging out in Big Bear. Brittany Cartwright is in her room not feeling well and Jax tells her, “Brittany, you are the only one throwing up out of all the women. You cannot do this.”
“It’s not because of that Jax. I was not drunk. I have not been drunk,” she answers. He says, “What is it from, then? Everybody’s normal.”
“I don’t care. I’m normal. I’m not drunk whatsoever. Do not do that to me. I can’t help it if I’m sick,” she snaps back. “You’re always sick. You’re always drinking,” Jax says, even though he was drunk at the lake an hour ago.
They’re yelling at each other and everyone is listening awkwardly.
Then, Jax majorly talks smack about his wife in a confessional. “I’ve been dealing with this for nine years. It’s not pretty. I thought things would slow down after Cruz was born but I think she’s having a tough time battling between being Fun Brittany and being a mom.”
“I see like, the hell that she goes through the next morning, I mean, it’s brutal and I’m kind of at my wit’s end because I asked her not to do that, yet she still does it,” Jax says.
Michelle Lally tells Jesse about the cheating rumors
While Jax and Brittany are fighting, Michelle takes the opportunity to slip away and talk to Jesse upstairs. In the room with two beds. Where Michelle doesn’t want to have sex with Jesse.
She tells him what Kristen told Jax about her sending sexy selfies to other men. As soon as she says Jax’s name, Jesse yells, “JAX!” Jax is like ruh roh.
“I don’t want to do the telephone game,” Jesse tells Michelle. When Jax comes upstairs, Michelle explains to Jesse what Kristen told Jax.
“And you were sending him sexy pictures of you?” Jesse asks Michelle. “No, of course not,” she says. He tells the cameras that because of their real estate business, he encourages Michelle to talk to other men and that he’s not bothered by it.
He glosses over the pic rumor and says, “I don’t give a sh*t who she talks to. I’m not a jealous person, let’s move on.”
Cracks in Danny and Nia Booko’s marriage
The girls are cooking dinner inside and Michelle asks Nia Booko about her reluctance to move to Santa Clarita, while her husband Danny Booko wants to. “Santa Clarita feels so isolating and I already feel so isolated in what I’m dealing with emotionally that I don’t want to move to a place where I feel like I don’t have any friends or community,” she tells the cameras.
Meanwhile, outside, Jesse apologizes for real about getting aggressive on the beach. “I was looking at you today at the beach thinking you’re thick-skinned and you’re not,” he insults tells Danny.
The other guys laugh at the backhanded apology. Jesse then does a soliloquy about how Danny is the best father, husband, friend, etc. and looks up to him sooooo much. His speech is so believable, that it moves Danny to tears.
It turns out that they are tears of frustration. “I’m going through a lot guys,” he cries. Jax, Jesse, and Jason Caperna all look at him in concern. “It’s a lot. It’s a lot of work. I’m up every two hours changing diapers, putting kids on boobs. I do it all.” Um, has he forgotten that his wife is the primary caretaker of their three kids and they are literally sucking the life out of her boobs?
He admits that he doesn’t feel like Nia appreciates him enough. “They never do,” Jesse says, sagely. He’s learned a lot from his spiritual retreat.
“It’s a different time, you know what I mean? Women just expect different things,” Danny says like he is from the 1960s.
The guys sit around the fire (minus Jason who is smart enough to stay quiet) and bemoan their horrible lives. “I’m trying so hard. I think we’re done, me and Michelle,” Jesse tells them.
Jason Caperna is the number one husband in The Valley group
While “The Valley” men are all boohooing, Janet comes outside to ask the guys to grill and Jesse orders her inside. She’s like WTF and says fine, she’s not cooking for everyone. Janet storms off inside and Jason runs after her.
“I’m cooking for 10 people. I’m exhausted, I’m starving, I’m pregnant. Brittany is passed out, nobody else can cook except for Jasmine and I. I’m exhausted,” she rants. Jason tries to explain that things were intense outside and people were crying. “I want to cry,” Janet yells.
“You’re 100% right. I’m sorry, I was wrong,” Jason tells her. “I wasn’t thinking about you enough, I’m sorry, I love you.”
Jason says in a confessional, “I hate to see Janet cry. I forgot to prioritize my pregnant wife who’s here for our babymoon.”
The Valley group all rally to eat dinner and Jax asks everyone how much Brittany has had to drink on the boat. The girls all tell him she had NOTHING to drink and he doesn’t believe them.
Brittany sticks her head out and yells, “Jax I can f*cking hear you. Everybody here has my back and you’re my f*cking husband and you’re trying to make me look like I’m a bad person. You think I want to be in here not feeling good?”
“F*ck you. I’m your wife and you’re trying to make me look bad in front of all these people? F*ck off. Everybody knows that I did not drink. Was I drunk? I had two f*cking drinks today. F*ck you,” she yells and then slams the door.
The Valley girls rally around Brittany Cartwright
Jax is going off on Brittany so Michelle, Janet, Nia, and Jasmine Goode comfort her. “I was throwing up in the toilet and he was yelling at me while I’m throwing up,” Brittany tells them. “He always puts me down. How many shots did he have today?”
“Yeah, but do you see me acting crazy?” Jax asks her. He admits that he had two bottles of tequila but is all fine and dandy. He tells her that every time she threw up over their eight years of being together, it was because she was hungover. “So maybe don’t drink at all,” he says.
Jax storms out and slams the door. “You don’t deserve this. Something’s got to change here,” Janet tells Brittany.
“Every time we go out, this happens. Every time,” Jax tells the guys. “You’re the only girl out of ten girls that’s throwing up?”
Michelle points out that Brittany’s sickness can be a sign of stress, which is not surprising given how mean Jax is to her.
“Let’s call it for what it is. She’s not sick, she’s sick of you. That’s what she’s sick of,” Jasmine tells the cameras.
In the living room, Jax continues to rant about Brittany. Even Jesse tells him to chill with talking smack about his wife in public. Janet suggests that they go to therapy but at this point, Jax and Brittany are over each other.
Zack Wickham and Kristen Doute have a sad spa day
The next morning, Jax apologizes to Brittany for being mean to her but it’s his usual insincere apology where he talks fast and promises to do better next time. Jesse, who recognizes this behavior, doesn’t buy it.
Things then take a “Single White Female” turn. Janet reveals that Zack posted an Instagram Story sharing a location tag of him in Big Bear. She wonders if he somehow made it to the babymoon with Kristen uninvited and the other girls agree that it’s creepy.
In LA, Kristen has set up a spa day for her and Zack, the misfits of “The Valley.” As soon as the put their feet into the portable foot spa, Zack goes on and on about how Janet couldn’t even tell them that they weren’t invited to Big Bear and instead, let Jax break the news.
Kristen is already regretting her decision.
Zack, who has been holding in his feelings for too long, goes on a spiel about how he thought he and Janet were good friends but was hurt over her reasons not to invite him. The real victim in this situation is now Kristen, who just wants to now smoke a blunt and watch old “Vanderpump Rules” episodes alone.
“Did you happen to see my Instagram Story?” Zack asks Kristen while tossing his hair. “I might be a little shady.” She approves of his level of pettiness.
Jesse Lally is the truthteller
Jason, who is apparently the only smart one in “The Valley” group explains that Napolean complex is a short guy who acts tough to compensate for his lack of height. They all look confused.
The guys go fishing while the girls set up a baby shower for Janet. They have a ridiculous conversation about Napolean complex. Basically, Danny thinks he has Napolean complex because he’s short and he’s always dated girls shorter than 5’3.
Then, apropos of nothing Jesse tells Danny, “I feel like you’re completely full of sh*t. Because your wife wears the pants and that’s not somebody making you feel confident.”
Jax tries to diffuse the situation by saying that Brittany wears the pants in their relationship. Jesse says, “I don’t think your wife wears the pants. But every time she tries to put the pants on, you’re like, pull them down, and you get in a fight with her.”
“I think you’re being Jax with your wife. I think you’re being difficult with her. If she says the sky is red, you’re like, you’re an idiot,” Jesse says. Jax responds, “I would never call my wife an idiot.” He’s not getting the point.
“I’m not talking about what you say. I’m talking about your response,” Jesse says. He added, “I think you’re a fighter. I think you’ve always been fighting. I think you’ve been fighting to prove yourself for a long time. And you don’t need to prove yourself to your wife.”
Jax gets defensive and acts like his marriage with Brittany is all good save for some hiccups but nobody is buying it.
